Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize