If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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