I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
