this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
