Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
