is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
