it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
