If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize