I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
