i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize