Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
