I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
then he tried to convert me to islam
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
