I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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