I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
