im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
