elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
