Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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