hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize