Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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