After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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