I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
