Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
