The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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