My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
