i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
