Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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