two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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