this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Randomize
