East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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