dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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