Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
