My friends, they love my intelligence
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
