Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize