I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
