I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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