On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So much Jack, so little girl.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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