So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
