Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
