ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize