What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
NoShamevember. You game?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Randomize
