So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
