I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
