What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
