yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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