Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
