Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize