I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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