my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
