Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
