Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
