i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
there is puke in my bra ... again
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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