PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
