So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
