I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
