Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
