I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
