Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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