that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i wish my penis had a tongue
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
