so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
