I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
