i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
