We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
