Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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