Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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