I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
